Good God Not Again!

Well the day couldn't really get off to a worse start, I get a phone call from Phil when he arrives at work to tell me that my car has decided that it has yet again got another puncture - this will be the third tyre that has gone caput since I've had the car, and at £135 a pop it's not a cheap exercise to get a new one. It seems to me that this car has been nothing but bad luck since I've had it, from putting the wrong fuel into it, getting it smashed up, broken parking sensors and now a triplet of tyre replacements... I think it is some sort of chalice of malaise to say the least.

I really have had just a guts full, I think my streak of any kind of luck has gone on an extended vacation, it really does seem to be one bad thing after another these days, and I'm getting the distinct impression some one up there doesn't like me very much at the moment.

A result of everything just not going anywhere near to plan of late has let me quite miserable and fed up. I'm fed up of the car, I'm fed up of not being able to decide what I should do for a job, I'm equally fed up of not having much money (see previous fed up item) and I just don't see how I can continue to pay for the car until I've sorted out fed up points 2 and 3. I seem to lack any lustre anymore and it's almost as if I can feel myself being sucked into a permanent state of depression.

Part of me thinks the best plan of action would be to sell the car and just get a cheap run around. If I sold the BMW it means I could get enough cash back from it to buy a small motor with no finance on it, reduced running costs and lesser premiums for road tax and insurance. In fact I've already rung the dealer who I got it off and they came back with a reasonable price for the car (depreciation of course a debilitating factor when it comes to pound signs). I mean it is a nice car for sure with lots of bells and whistles, but what do I use it for? Going to Tesco and the Gym, it's wasted.

I really don't know what to do about anything at the moment, I feel like I'm suspended in animation. I can see everything thats going on around me but it's almost as if I'm cloaked in a dampening field which is stopping me from making any positive moves to rectify any of the problems I have.

Everything just sucks. But on a brighter note, I did meet a nice lady at the gym who gave some motivation and inspiration to me - she was a similar size to me last year and is now considerably smaller and much happier. Maybe theres my problem - maybe I'm so unhappy about myself everything else has been tarred with the same brush.

Posted by Abi on the May 31, 2006 9:36 PM